Thursday, July 24, 2008

Going, Going, Gone

To see the world in a grain of sand.
and heaven in a wild flower.
Put infinity in the palm of your hand.
and eternity in an hour."
Last night I purchased an airline ticket to visit my brother in a coma and in extended care in Salt Lake City, Utah. He 's been in a coma for almost a year now. I convinced myself that he was a vegetable and even that his spirit had already left his body, besides; I rationalize, he is not aware of any ones comings and goings so my visits did not matter. Plus my sister-in-law is mad at me for the insensitive things that I said to her on New Years Day, I said:
"how long are you going to let Doug stay in that condition?" Truth is I'm a coward and I didn't want to revisit my home and family.
They say you can't go home again.
The truth is you can but it's very, very difficult.

Whether or not to take someone off life support or in my brothers case just letting them waste away slowly or starve to death more quickly it is an explosive issue and thankfully it's not my decision! When life starts and when life ends who gets to play God. But circumstances lately with Cheryl have opened my eyes. I owe it to my brother to talk to him, tell him he is loved, tell him it's not his fault and to make my amends to him.

I've got a car rented and lots of time to tramp all over my old stomping grounds Wyoming, Nevada, Southern Utah and visit my little sister Patty, see her new Harley and beg a ride on the back and visit some old friends.
What did Shakespeare say? Meeting again is such bittersweet joy that I should say good night until the 'morrow.


P.A. GIbbons said...

Best wishes on this difficult but brave journey.

I am my mother's proxy and have a meeting today w/family and the nursing home about her medical wishes. She is slowly starving herself....eating very little.

My brother and I are at odds w/one another over this.

I will respect her wishes. She has lived without a voice and handicapped for 20 years. If she so wishes to fade away, then so be it.

I send you a big hug, and do snatch some times of fun, inspiration, and bring it all back with you and make more art.


Judy Vars said...

We should have the power to choose out fate regardless of what well meaning family members say. But I'll admit I cannot see the big picture and don't understand anything.
I started to tell my husband that I wanted the latest eco-frilendly way to take care of my remains. First you freeze the body in nitrogen, next you shake until the body is broken into little peices, next take the pieces and mix with mulch, leaves, dirt and add worms, then place the mixture into a hole and plant a tree on top.
He got all peeved and didn't want to talk about it.
Yes I need to take my journey and have some fun fer sure.
Thanks for your hugs and understanding. Judy

P.A. GIbbons said...

I think that the cost of funerals and wakes is horrible and like everything else in this country, it becomes a master money making business. Sigh....I am interested in the nitrogen shake. Very cool. I was thinking cremation, then you can mix the ashes into clam and have things make with it for people. But yeah, most would find that too weird. Dunno.....