Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Elizabeth You Are So Loved

Elizabeth Burgess and Judy Vars 

I was convinced you must have been my father’s illegitimate daughter from El Paso, TX because you felt like a sister to me from the start. You are my true friend in every sense of the word. When I needed you to cheer me you did (to a point), you made fun of me and kept me humble, when I needed you to be my Maid of Honor at my wedding you did it for me!, when I needed to confide in you my secrets you kept them! Besides my own dear Mother you were the most honest person that I have ever met.

You never let me go from you without holding me and letting me know that you loved me a lot.

Remember when we had our first date at the Museum in Anchorage on the way home there was the most glorious purple/pink sunsets that Alaska has to offer. We shared a moment of awe together and knew we would always be friends.

But why oh why couldn’t I help you with your demons? To borrow a favorite quote from a movie; A River Runs Through It. Rev. Maclean: Each one of here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.

Guilt is nipping at my heals, like an uncomfortable reminder saying don’t forget to let the ones you love know that they are loved. Why didn’t I try harder to deliver you and Anna’s Christmas presents? Why didn’t I stop into the Arctic Bar to see you when I had the impulse? Why didn’t I call you every time it crossed my mind in the last couple of weeks? Now the time is gone and I cannot ever have it back.

I pray to God we can meet again in the spirit world
Until then.......... We will take good care of your girl Anna.

I know that you do not like mushy sentiment so I’ll just remind you what God said:

"Elizabeth you are so loved! "  

Thursday, January 12, 2012

all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray I've been for a walk on a winters day I'd be safe and warm if I was in LA California Dreamin on such a winters day

We have been having the storm of the century up here in Alaska, Nome has run out of fuel and the fuel tanker from Russia is stuck on 4’ ice, in Cordova Alaska folks have been literally snowed into their houses and the National Guard are there helping them shovel out from under record snowfall.

All this snow and bad weather we’ve been having since New Year has given me the opportunity to focus inward and get things done. The first thing I accomplished was get myself a much needed new web site. The last one was built for me as a trade for art, not a bad deal except I could not upload my artwork just because it was way too complicated. So it stayed with the same old art for years and years. So in spite of appearances I was busy painting and creating all along. This contains newer images and some of my favorite works. Please go take a look and leave me a comment telling me if you love it, hate it or have any friendly suggestions.

The second thing I accomplished was to get a show in West Hollywood at Candle Delirium, March 10th 2012. I am brimming with ideas for art work and 10,000 details involved with putting on a show. My awesome son Joel lives in San Diego and my other awesome son Porter is going with us! It will be a family reunion and the two brothers can see each other it’s been way to long. I would love for all of us to go to the famous San Diego Zoo.

The third thing is sticking to my strict protocol on the HCG diet. I ditched nearly 60 pounds in 2009 but gained back 25 of them. As of this morning I am 8 pounds lighter. Woo Hoo
I’ve learned that you have to be vigilant and not let those evil bad carbs back into my body and keep excercizing OH GOD. My beloved other Peter has been making him and Porter dinner, this helps me stick to the regime and gives me more time to blog, work in my office and paint! Having someone else do the cooking is the best.

So today all is well, I have no complaints, in fact I am serene yet motivated, grateful and happy.