Saturday, August 21, 2010

You Know You're Old When - AARP Won't Stop Hounding You

These jokes do not apply to me, no way I am still young at heart! Haven’t you heard 60 is the new 40.

But I don't want to be that hot sexy grandmother the effort and upkeep it takes to cheat time is plain ridiculous. My friend takes a injection HRT everyday and restricts herself to a 500 cal a day diet. But the thought of eating 500 calories a day sends me into a panic attack. Yes, she did lose 75 pounds at a ridiculously fast rate and yes she looks good in her jeans and yes her hubby is hot for her box, I assume he takes Viagra to keep it up! Another friend just got BOTOX injections - now she has a placid emotionless face and no one can guess what she is thinking.

I have deep furrows between my eyes from decades of worrying and being too serious I also have laugh lines etched around my eyes. Who hasn’t secretly wished for a facelift? Have you seen Joan Rivers? Oh the humanity.

I covered the gray about 2 months ago with a semi-permanent red dye (I'm a redhead in my soul) now the gray is growing back and the red stuff won't come out. I refuse to color my hair every 6 weeks just for the illusion of youth. Is that wrong?

Next year I'll be sixty, sure why not tell everyone what is there to hide anyway. I am pushing the big 60 and loving my life more than ever. In the past I looked young for my age but time has caught up with me and now the compliments on my youthful appearance are fewer and farther between. Nowadays wherever I go I hear MAM and get deference and respect from the youngers.

Still I’m not giving up. No Way! I am reorganizing my priorities. I will…

• Walk daily and take pictures

• Drink more water

• Take my vitamins

• Do something kind and loving for myself

• Do something kind for someone else

• Slow down and be more deliberate and present

• I will do more of what I love

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