Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Elizabeth You Are So Loved

Elizabeth Burgess and Judy Vars 

I was convinced you must have been my father’s illegitimate daughter from El Paso, TX because you felt like a sister to me from the start. You are my true friend in every sense of the word. When I needed you to cheer me you did (to a point), you made fun of me and kept me humble, when I needed you to be my Maid of Honor at my wedding you did it for me!, when I needed to confide in you my secrets you kept them! Besides my own dear Mother you were the most honest person that I have ever met.

You never let me go from you without holding me and letting me know that you loved me a lot.

Remember when we had our first date at the Museum in Anchorage on the way home there was the most glorious purple/pink sunsets that Alaska has to offer. We shared a moment of awe together and knew we would always be friends.

But why oh why couldn’t I help you with your demons? To borrow a favorite quote from a movie; A River Runs Through It. Rev. Maclean: Each one of here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.

Guilt is nipping at my heals, like an uncomfortable reminder saying don’t forget to let the ones you love know that they are loved. Why didn’t I try harder to deliver you and Anna’s Christmas presents? Why didn’t I stop into the Arctic Bar to see you when I had the impulse? Why didn’t I call you every time it crossed my mind in the last couple of weeks? Now the time is gone and I cannot ever have it back.

I pray to God we can meet again in the spirit world
Until then.......... We will take good care of your girl Anna.

I know that you do not like mushy sentiment so I’ll just remind you what God said:

"Elizabeth you are so loved! "  

1 comment:

LL Cool Joe said...

Don't feel guilty, I'm sure she knows you love her. :) I'm so sorry for your loss.