Monday, May 14, 2012

When Monkeys Fly Out of My Ass

This has become a running joke with my husband, back in 2004 when I applied for my first Rasmuson Foundation Grant; I was a novice a naive babe in the woods. Still I hoped they would see my vision and financial need and award me a grant.
Now Peter my help mate says "When you get that grant from those guys, “monkeys are going to fly out my ass" what I wouldn't give to see that! I dot my eyes cross my tees and make an A+ presentation. After waiting about 3 months they reply:
Dear Ms Vars,
Thank you blah, blah, blah. I regret to inform you that you did not receive one of the "Foundations Artists Award in your category.
2004, 2005, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2012 no, no, no, no, no, no.!!!
Each application more polished and eloquent than the previous year, I used their kind critiques and suggestions to improve my chances.

Panelists Comments for Application 2012
Referencing Fayum Mummy Portraits as well as contemporary painterly practices Vars is developing her own unique visual language. Her desire to push the practice of portraiture further by finding new modes for representing historical and contemporary figures, that have had a major impact on out lives, is an engaging subject for exploration. Her work has merit both formally and conceptually; she should try to find new avenues for exposure.
Clever examination of the notion of “idol'” but the project would be stronger if it linked the request to the criteria of career impact. It is not clear that this project would significantly advance this emerging artist’s artistic development.
Average rating 2.5

That is the equivalent to a D+

I feel like little Judy in school trying my very best to get an A+ and teacher gives me a B+ for my good effort. Then the feeling why try so hard if you just sit there you’ll get a C+ anyway.
Yes OK sure I was just an average student but when subject interested me I gave it my all.

It's silly I know to get my hopes up, I know it's all subjective, that the panel of judges have their own criteria, I know it's wrong to base my feelings of my artistic efforts on other peoples opinions, or to compare myself with other artists, still it would be nice for those snooty art academics to grant me some recognition in the form of money.

What else to say at this point but... say la vee or simply fuck it!
I'm just disappointed that I did not get to see monkeys fly out of Peter’s ass!
I picture the wicked witches monkeys in the Wizard of OZ flying out and laughing hysterically like crazy chimps so happy to be freed.


LL Cool Joe said...

Oh that sucks but art is so subjective. Never give up!

Sharen AK Harris said...

sorry that you didn't get the grant. kicked to the ground, that is what it is like being an artist. don't stop trying

Sharen AK Harris said...

I want to see monkeys fly out of Peter ass too LOL

Judy Vars said...

Hey Sharen thanks for reading my rant. I guess no flying monkeys this time.