Mothers and Daughters

Detail of Mary Mother of Jesus encaustic wax icon by Judy Vars

Yesterday my second daughter Charmaine and my granddaughter Rhaya left. I’m left feeling a curious blend of emotions Love always, mixed with melancholy, joy mixed with sadness. When I brought my girls into the world, I was still a girl just seventeen. I was inexperienced and relied on my dog-eared copy of Doctor Spock’s child rearing book to guide me. I laugh and call them Spock babies and they say yeah with mock resentment.
On the nursery wall was a plaque I made with the poem by Kahill Gibran from the “Prophet” Children
I read it over again and again and cried each time. Today it comes back to me.

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children,”
And he said: Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness: For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves the bow that is stable.

My Charmaine put herself through college and earned a MBA. She lives life fully and on her terms. She loves to travel and has been all over the world. She overcame thyroid cancer last year. Her strength and will power is an inspiration to everyone she knows. She is a fun person to be around and generous. She will not tolerate negativity or victim thinking...she loves her family and friends deeply but protects herself with a prickly exterior.
Rhaya is the image of her mother in temperament; friendly to everyone, self confident to the extreme, and totally gorgeous. If my children have any faults I cannot see them.
Long ago I concluded that I can’t take too much credit for my children’s successes or even their difficulties like Kahill says they are the living arrows sent forth into the infinite so let your bending in the archers hand be with gladness.
Miss Moo and Rhaya I love you so much more than I could ever express.
MoM and Grandmom

Last Nights Fun Oh Yeah

No doubt I'm getting older but when did sex get so high-tech? The Slumber Party last night was a real hit. Charmaine (my daughter) was the representative for Slumber Parties (see my side bar) she told everyone that her goal tonight was to embarass me. She should have known better because I have been on this planet longer than her and seen more stuff and you cannot embarass me, I thought. We were all having a great time looking at the lotions, potions, and toys. When she goes into this speel about this little tube of cream and explaining that it contains benzadrine and you can keep in your first aid kit, put it on bug bites, cold sores etc. then she gets real animated and says its "Anal Ease" this picture is worth a thousand words. I suddenly fell flat out laughing so hard my cheeks hurt and turning red, I wasn't sure if it was a hot flash or embarrasment either way she had me.
Please don't flag me for objectionable content. Heres to great sex!

They're Here all the way from Charlotte, NC

*************************Rhaya and Charmaine************
***********************Jackson and Rhaya***********
*********************Charmaine, Rhaya and Me**************
*****************************Charmaine***************

Rhaya by bottle tree and Sir Porter

Dedicated to Anima Sola

No I am not depressed! Ah contraire' Charmaine and Rhaya are coming! Cinco de Mayo is coming! Spring is here! and I'm havin a wild sex party!!! I love exclamation points! I love this image "Anima Sole"! So I waxed it!

A boy and his father had their team of oxen went out into the field to plant garbanzos and an angry young bull attacked him, dealing a mortal blow in the face which caused him to bleed profusely from the mouth and nose. He was unconscious all night and without any hope for his life. The father invoked with all of his faith for the protection of God in the miraculous image of the Lonely Soul that is venerated in Guadalajara, and soon he regained his health.
The Anima Sola or Lonely Soul is a Catholic depiction of a suffering person - almost always a woman - in chains amidst the barred prison doors of Purgatory, the place where sinners go while awaiting final judgement. Her broken chains show that there is hope!

I'm very grateful that there is always hope! And a little faith goes a long way!
Impossible things happen every day! Miracles are real!

Out of the Box

Yes. I have committed to a show in June with Lindsay Shelly and another show in July at the Fire Flower Gallery. Why not, the more people that see my work, the more people there are to love it, buy it, and collect it. Then there are the other voices that say; oh "I hate it," or "I wouldn't give you ten cents for it," or "humph, beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder." Be gone self effacing talk, remember; through your passion, power and beauty you communicate your unique vision of the world and help facilitate understanding, acceptance and love.
Junes theme is collages and the title is "Out of the Box" It is going to be a little unusual for the people in Wasilla. There will be some social commentary and different types of collaged images. I will put my "poetry boxes" in also. The Bagel Deli is a family restaurant that also serves pizza and coffee. So the show can't be too risqué or we can't use bad words like this "Jim Morrison Shrine". by Judy Vars c. 2006

AWAKE
Shake dreams from your hair,
My pretty child, my sweet one,
Choose the day and choose the sign of your day
The day's divinity
First thing you see.
A vast radiant beach in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by its quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad children
Smug in the woolly cotton brains on infancy.
The music and voices are all around us.
Choose, they croon, the Ancient Ones
The time has come again.
Choose now, they croon,
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake.
Enter again the sweet forest,
Enter the hot dream,
Come with us,
Everything is broken up and dances.
Jim Morrison

It's All Going To Hell In a Handbasket

How's it all going to end? Last night I started to write about the horror and sorrow from Virginia Tech massacre. I wanted to vent my anger and outrage. But I thought no, I should keep my blog positive and not get political or opinionated. Well WTF anyway. I just don't understand senseless violence and the extremes of the soul or psyche that can make some of us kill in senseless rampage in the name of Jesus, ALA, or any other supreme deity. I'm angry we occupy Iraq and that we had to meddle in the affairs of other countries and get our soldiers/children killed and wounded. How can we and they be so hateful to our brothers and sisters? I wonder why every one thinks their beliefs or religion is the only way to salvation and we kill each other to be right; Muslims vs. Christians, Sunnis vs. Shiites, Born Agains vs. Mormons. I start to worry about the ozone, global warming, gun control, domestic violence, crack babies and the honey bees. I rail against President Bush and blame him for everything. I begin to wonder am I being manipulated by the media is the media being manipulated by us. Last weeks dumb comment by Don Imas "Nappy Headed Whores" was at least a distraction we could laugh at and make jokes about how silly and stupid we are.

All I ask is for a little hope and some good news.
Is it too late to repent?

I Found A Kindred Spirit

Sometimes a few pictures are worth a thousand words. I just love looking at other peoples stuff don't you? These objects belong to my wildly creative friend Jeannie. Can you say E-BaY!

Shorty the Lion

This little gem was created by my 1st grandson Max. Not to be braggadocios but he is a real brain. He loves higher math even though he is only eight, he is a musician, an artist, a comedian, a trickester, a real boy with the snips and sails and puppy dog tails.

We went over to my daughter Nicole's house tonight for her birthday party and were treated to the best Indian food this side of India. They love to cook interesting foods they use it to teach their kids about other places and different ideas sometimes they get books make props and really go all out. It’s always an interesting and fun experience to enjoy one of their feasts. The meal featured three kinds of chutney from Alaska berries they had collected from the surrounding area, homemade flat bread, sweet coconut rice, yogurt and cucumber, curry flavored potatoes. Oh my it was delicious and colorful they even served it on banana leaves.

I gave her the book I made Raven Steals the light since she had given me so many hints. I even posted the book on my blog to make her worry. I could see the look on her face when she thought I was going to sell it. Hee hee its fun to torment and tease it makes the gift more fun to give.

Ahhh yes as sand through the hour glass so are the days of our lives, now I'm the grandmother and the matriarch sometimes it seems a little unreal. I swear it was just yesterday I was her age, that’s when I had my last child Porter 17 years ago. But I'm not saying how old she is and I'm not saying how old I am. And that’s all I am going to say about that.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE – You will always be perfect in my eyes.
I love you forever and always. MoM

I see a red door and I want it painted black

My painting looks good on my new black wall! Now the deed is done I'm wondering why? YIKES! OMG! HGTV would definitely have something snotty to say I am certain. Ignore the ugly 70s paneling. I'm thinking of adding a pearl essence glaze and doing some kind of effect like marble or metal. But the reason for the paint job was so I could take professional photos of my art work.Wednesday I went to Julie Bourbeau's gallery/studio it was in an industrial park, the showroom was huge there was an office,a bathroom, a loft and a work area with an awesome sound system and she was so gracious to us. Jeanne Phillips wanted to use her Epsom 2200 Stylist giclee printer to copy and chronicle her collection. Julie just opened the garage door put the paintings on the floor in the sunshine and took a digital photograph. She made it way too easy meanwhile my nice hubby Peter was painting my wall black; as per my request.

No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah!

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST

Today I watched my favorite western Once Upon A Time in the West, with Charles Bronson, Jason Robards and Henry Fonda what ever happened to those sexy guys?
Oh yes they got old and died. The movie caused me to remember my old love Tom Gray. We were star crossed lovers from the beginning. We first met in a tunnel, the Virginia Truckee Railroad tunnel. I took a short cut walking from Virginia City, Nevada to Gold Hill where I lived. As I began to immerge through the other side framed in the tunnel with the sun shinning behind him was a tall, lithe, sweaty, shirtless man working on the tracks. My heart started to pound and my hands got sweaty and we spoke, he said the tunnel is dangerous and I said something funny or stupid like “who cares or I love danger.” Later in the week at Virginia City’s Camel Races and the 1890's Ball I wore a beautiful vintage 1890's midnight blue velvet opera dress, my hair was pinned up in a period hair style. My look was so perfect that everyone wanted my photo. Even the Governor flirted with me. I was in my prime and at the top of my game. Then there he was looking like Tom Selleck, and Henry Fonda combined and with another date. We flirted with our eyes he cut in on a dance like the olden days. I started to swoon and had butterflies in my tummy.

Later the same night at the Silver Stope I was enjoying a few martinis having a great time getting tipsy, my perfect hair doo falling out and my proper demeanor gone. Then he came in and we began to seriously flirt. Our affair was passionate, complicated and ill fated from the start we couldn't stay together and we couldn't stay apart for very long either. We were both enjoying partying and our freedoms way too much to make a serious commitment.
My memories of saying passionate tearful goodbyes while the Zephyr Wind train slowly pulled away from the train station (trains played a central role in out relationship) were the stuff of movies.

We stayed in contact for many years and eventually lost touch. Years after our affair had ended he still showed me he cared and pulled me up from a deep dark place and put my feet on solid ground.
I feel a little guilty reminiscing about a long lost love when I have a sexy hot guy who loves me now. But the heart can be fickle sometimes, I guess I’ve just been lucky.

Two New Works of Art

Alaska Raven Collage
Letter to DAD
Since I will be doing a show with Lindsay Shelly in June and the subject will be collage art and assemblages. I read Collage Discovery workshop by Claudine Hellmuth, what an interesting little read. It gave me dozens of ideas. Collage is such a fascinating way of expressing ones self. I did these two this afternoon. Monday I will be demonstrating encaustic wax for the Valley Fine Arts Association. Here is the e-flyer that Lindsay made and mailed to everyone.
How nice and complimentary..

You are invited to another 'Out of the Box" demonstration
by Judy Vars
Come see her fascinating way with wax.
She will be demonstrating a collage using encaustic wax.
Judy is always a delight to learn from so please come show your support and learn something new on
Monday, April 15th, 2007
at 5ish p.m.
Room 212 at Mat-Su College

I am feeling a little crazy because I got some flat black paint for my North living room wall. The idea is to have a perfect place to take pictures of my art. When its movie time we can pull the black shades in the living room and have an instant home theatre. At least thats the way I sold it to my husband. Hee hee hee,and he went for it!

I'm Having Too Much Fun

Besides still not having my taxes finished and postmarked, working all week giving 4th graders tests, cleaning my dirty house, chauffeuring a teen aged kid around and feeding my family. I managed to have a little fun... My new friend Jeanne Phillips, she opened Fire Flower Gallery in Wasilla. We went to Anchorage's First Friday Art Walk. I met an artist Julie Bourbeau at the Snow City Cafe. Her mixed media sculptures are laser cut from tin, with salmon, rock fish, frogs, whales and dragon flies. The art was so colorful, uplifting and the spiritual aspect is so direct and well thought out. Some real eye candy with purpose. Julie Borubeau Art and Design

We saw some interesting performance art at the Trailer Art Center in Mountain View. A naked man Vladimir from Romania the piece was titled Death and Rebirth. At the time I thought it was real stupid, the professor of art at Alaska State University standing in the corner facing the wall lecturing, a guy on a keyboard playing but with no music, a black and white picture of three guys looking up and two guys fussing with blocks of ice. They were measuring it, stacking it in different ways and looking at it with magnifying lenses. Then three women shrouded in black came in with a bowl performed some type of ceremony and then they poured this glop onto the ice and lit it on fire then the guys chopped the ice into little pieces. Then they covered themselves in white bags and were drug off stage??? Cut to black. Then Vlad was painted with blood or some concoction that looked like blood. Cut to black. Now a bathtub alone on the stage, suddenly he bursts through the wall (I think he hurt his nose when he crashed through the wall). Three women shrouded in white ceremoniously bathe the blood off him. They helped him from the bathtub and put a bow tie around his neck.
THE END

I was too busy saying “what the hell” to appreciate it. I asked Vladimir why he chose performance art and he said “Etz a more direct vay to communicate.” After going to sleep and dreaming of Romania, graveyards, discotheques and nude men. I woke up to know the meaning of the symbolism and found it quite interesting after all.

Two paintings for your consideration.

I'm still improving "My Happy Place" I added yellow to the center and painted the lady some more. I keep fussing with it, I tried to make the light and shadows to show the light coming from the center. Does it make sense or just look strange? It is so much better than when I started (scroll down and see March 25th) its come a long way but still I keep wondering if it's complete.
or should I use this one for the contest at R&F Paints? They may like the anthopomorphic (big word) painting better. I could call it "Angel-Raven-Skeleton Man." Maybe I could submit both paintings. What do you think? This is a juried exhibition, Juror's Award $1000 dollars in R&F Paints, Director's Award $800 and Sponsors Award $800 paint. The art will show at the R&F Gallery and then move to Ball State University's Atrium Gallery. WoW I'm a little nervous I think the competition with the other encaustic artists is going to be tough, it would be nice to just be accepted, well no guts no glory i always say.

The Full Moon, Aurora and Spring Time in Alaska

Last night after dinner and a meeting, I visited
Dawn Diaz. She has been doing some exciting work with manifestation the things they talk about in “The Secret” she is really on a roll and up to so much good. She also just created three new energy paintings Oprah, Mattie Stepanek and Jesus in progress. They are the best to date.
I received a Reiki treatment from her. I'm grateful to get my sap moving again it felt wonderful. I am going to get a treatment twice a week for awhile. When she was working in my belly area and I felt a great deal of pressure and needed to remind myself to breathe into it, some things came up for me that I've been stuffing.

On the way home I saw the Northern Lights an opportunity to witness them is always so blessed. The curtain of lights move and change a visible wave of energy pulsating to its own rhythm, I took it as a God sign that my energies are always in flux moving with it’s own rhythm. As above so below, things are the way there supposed to be right now and in this moment yet constantly changing. The Eskimos believe that when Northern Lights sing that’s when the Sky Gods are having a game of soccer with a human skull. Its terrible to sing back, because you’ll catch their attention and they will be very pissed that you interfered with their game and use your head for the soccer ball.

Hubby got the trusses rolled on our new shop, garage, and studio so things are moving right along. Hey, Nikki Navarrette called just now and I sold my “Spring Tree” encaustic painting! Yes, that’s perfect and I’m sending her a check for her piece right now.